T. R. Smith, comp. Poetica Erotica: Rare and Curious Amatory Verse. 1921–22.
The Wanton Wife of Bath
Anonymous(From Collection of Old Ballads, 1723) |
IN Bath a wanton Wife did dwell, | |
As Chaucer he doth write; | |
Who did in Pleasure spend her Days, | |
In many a fond Delight. | |
Upon a time sore sick she was, | 5 |
And at the length did die; | |
Her Soul at last at Heaven’s Gate, | |
Did knock most mightily. | |
Then Adam came unto the Gate, | |
Who knocketh there? quoth he: | 10 |
I am the Wife of Bath, she said, | |
And fain would come to thee. | |
Thou art a Sinner, Adam said, | |
And here no Place shall have, | |
Alas for you, good Sir, she said, | 15 |
Now gip you doting Knave. | |
I will come in, in spight she said, | |
Of all such Churles as thee; | |
Thou wert the Causer of our Woe, | |
Our Pain and Misery; | 20 |
And first broke God’s Commandments, | |
In pleasure of thy Wife: | |
When Adam heard her tell this Tale, | |
He run away for Life. | |
Then down came Jacob at the Gate, | 25 |
And bids her pack to Hell, | |
Thou false Deceiver, why, said she, | |
Thou may’st be there as well. | |
For thou deceiv’st thy Father dear, | |
And thine own Brother too. | 30 |
Away went Jacob presently, | |
And made no more ado. | |
She knocks again with might and main, | |
And Lot he chides her straight: | |
Why then, quoth she, thou drunken Ass, | 35 |
Who bid thee here to wait. | |
With thy two Daughters thou did’st lie, | |
On them two Bastards got; | |
And thus most tauntingly the chaft | |
Against poor silly Lot. | 40 |
Who calleth there, quoth Judith then, | |
With such shrill sounding Notes? | |
This fine Minx surely cannot hear, | |
Quoth she, for cutting Throats. | |
Good Lord, how Judith blush’d for shame | 45 |
When she heard her say so; | |
King David hearing of the same, | |
He to the Gate did go. | |
Quoth David, who knocks there so loud, | |
And maketh all this Strife! | 50 |
You were more kind, good Sir, she said, | |
Unto Uriah’s Wife. | |
And when thou causedest thy Servant | |
In Battle to be slain, | |
Thou causedest then more strife than I, | 55 |
Who would come here so fain. | |
The Woman’s mad, said Solomon, | |
That thus doth taunt a King. | |
Not half so mad as you, she said, | |
I know in many a thing. | 60 |
Thou haddest seven Hundred Wives, | |
For whom thou did’st provide, | |
Yet for all this, three hundred Whores, | |
Thou did’st maintain beside. | |
And those made thee forsake thy God, | 65 |
And worship Stocks and Stones, | |
Besides the charge they put thee to | |
In breeding of young Bones. | |
Had’st thou not been besides thy Wits, | |
Thou would’st not thus have ventured; | 70 |
And therefore I do marvel much, | |
How thou this Place hast entered. | |
I never heard, quoth Jonas then, | |
So vile a Scold as this, | |
Thou Whore-son run away, quoth she, | 75 |
Thou diddest more amiss. | |
I think, quoth Thomas, Women’s Tongues | |
Of Aspen-Leaves are made. | |
Thou unbelieving Wretch, quoth she, | |
All is not true that’s said. | 80 |
What Mary Magdalen heard her then, | |
She came unto the Gate, | |
Quoth she, good Woman, you must think | |
Upon your former State. | |
No Sinner enters in this Place, | 85 |
Quoth Mary Magdalen then. | |
’Twere ill for you, fair Mistress mild | |
She answer’d her again: | |
You for your Honesty, quoth she, | |
Should once be stoned to Death, | 90 |
Had not our Saviour Christ come by, | |
And written on the Earth. | |
It was not your Occupation, | |
You are become divine, | |
I hope my Soul in Christ’s Passion | 95 |
Shall be as safe as thine. | |
Then rose the good Apostle Paul, | |
Unto this Wife he cried, | |
Except thou shake thy Sins away, | |
Thou here shalt be denied. | 100 |
Remember Paul, what thou hast done, | |
All thro’ a lewd Desire, | |
How thou did’st persecute God’s Church, | |
With Wrath as hot as fire. | |
Then up starts Peter, at the last, | 105 |
And to the Gate he highs, | |
Fond Fool, quoth he, knock not so fast, | |
Thou weariest Christ with Cries. | |
Peter, said she, content thy self, | |
For Mercy may be won, | 110 |
I never did deny my Christ, | |
As thou thy self hast done. | |
When as our Saviour Christ heard this, | |
With heavenly Angels bright, | |
He comes unto this sinful Soul, | 115 |
Who trembled at his Sight. | |
Of him for Mercy she did crave, | |
Quoth he, thou hast refused | |
My proffered Grace, and Mercy both, | |
And much my Name abused. | 120 |
Sore have I sinn’d, O Lord, she said, | |
And spent my time in vain. | |
But bring me like a wand’ring Sheep | |
Into thy Flock again: | |
O Lord my God, I will amend | 125 |
My former wicked Vice. | |
The Thief at these poor silly Words, | |
Past into Paradise. | |
My Laws and my Commandments, | |
Saith Christ, were known to thee, | 130 |
But of the same in any wise, | |
Not yet one Word did ye. | |
I grant the same, O Lord, quoth she, | |
Most lewdly did I live, | |
But yet the loving Father did | 135 |
His prodigal Son forgive. | |
So I forgive thy Soul, he said, | |
Through thy repenting Cry, | |
Come you therefore into my Joy, | |
I will not thee deny. | 140 |