T. R. Smith, comp. Poetica Erotica: Rare and Curious Amatory Verse. 1921–22.
The Avaricious Wife and Tricking Gallant
By Jean de La Fontaine (1621–1695)(From Tales and Novels, 1764) WHO knows the world will never feel surprise, | |
| When men are duped by artful women’s eyes; | |
| Though death his weapon freely will unfold; | |
| Love’s pranks, we find, are ever ruled by gold. | |
| To vain coquettes I doubtless here allude; | 5 |
| But spite of arts with which they’re oft endued, | |
| I hope to show (our honour to maintain), | |
| We can, among a hundred of the train, | |
| Catch one at least, and play some cunning trick:— | |
| For instance, take blithe Gulphar’s wily nick, | 10 |
| Who gained (old soldier-like) his ardent aim, | |
| And gratis got an avaricious dame. | |
| Look well at this, ye heroes of the sword, | |
| Howe’er with wily freaks your heads be stored, | |
| Beyond a doubt, at court I now could find, | 15 |
| A host of lovers of the Gulphar kind. | |
| To Gasperin’s so often went our wight, | |
| The wife at length became his sole delight, | |
| Whose youth and beauty were by all confessed; | |
| But, ’midst these charms, such av’rice she possessed. | 20 |
| The warmest love was checked;—a thing not rare, | |
| In modern times at least, among the FAIR. | |
| ’Tis true, as I’ve already said, with such | |
| Sighs nought avail, and promises not much; | |
| Without a purse, who wishes should express, | 25 |
| Would vainly hope to gain a soft caress. | |
| The god of love no other charm employs, | |
| Than cars, and dress, and pleasure’s cheering joys; | |
| From whose gay shops more cuckolds we behold, | |
| Than heroes sallied from Troy’s horse of old. | 30 |
| But to our lady’s humour let’s adhere; | |
| Sighs passed for nought:—they entered not her ear; | |
| ’Twas speaking only would the charmer please;— | |
| The reader, without doubt, my meaning sees; | |
| Gay Gulphar plainly spoke, and named a sum: | 35 |
| A hundred pounds; she listened:—was o’ercome. | |
| Our wight the cash by Gasperin was lent; | |
| And then the husband to the country went, | |
| Without suspecting that his loving mate, | |
| Designed with horns to ornament his pate. | 40 |
| The money artful Gulphar gave the dame, | |
| While friends were round who could observe the same, | |
| Here, said the spark, a hundred pounds receive, | |
| ’Tis for your spouse:—the cash with you I leave. | |
| The lady fancied what the swain had said, | 45 |
| Was policy, and to concealment led. | |
| Next morn our belle regaled the arch gallant, | |
| Fulfilled her promise:—and his eager want. | |
| Day after day he followed up the game; | |
| For cash he took, and interest on the same; | 50 |
| Good payers get, we always may conclude, | |
| Full measure served, whatever is pursued. | |
| When Gasperin returned, our crafty wight, | |
| Before the wife addressed her spouse at sight; | |
| Said he the cash I’ve to your lady paid, | 55 |
| Not having (as I feared) required its aid; | |
| To save mistakes, pray cross it in your book; | |
| The lady, thunderstruck, with terror shook; | |
| Allowed the payment; ’twas a case too clear; | |
| In truth for character she ’gan to fear. | 60 |
| But most howe’er she grudged the surplus joy, | |
| Bestowed on such a vile, deceitful boy. | |
| The loss was doubtless great in ev’ry view:— | |
| Around the town the wicked Gulphar flew; | |
| In all the streets, at every house to tell, | 65 |
| How nicely he had trick’d the greedy belle. | |
| To blame him useless ’twere you must allow; | |
| The French such frolics readily avow. | |