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John Bartlett (1820–1905). Familiar Quotations, 10th ed. 1919.

Page 787

 
 
Artemus (Charles Farrar Browne) Ward. (1834–1867)
 
7737
      My pollertics, like my religion, being of an exceedin’ accommodatin’ character.
          The Crisis.
7738
      The fack can’t be no longer disgised that a Krysis is onto us.
          The Crisis.
7739
      I am not a politician, and my other habits are good.
          Fourth of July Oration.
7740
      The prevailin’ weakness of most public men is to Slop over. G. Washington never slopt over.
          Fourth of July Oration.
7741
      I can’t sing. As a singist I am not a success. I am saddest when I sing. So are those who hear me. They are sadder even than I am.
          Artemus Ward’s Lecture.
7742
      N. B. This is rote Sarcastikul.
          A Visit to Brigham Young.
7743
      Did you ever have the measels, and if so, how many?
          The Census.
7744
      Why is this thus? What is the reason of this thusness?
          Moses, the Sassy.
7745
      Let us all be happy and live within our means, even if we have to borrow the money to do it with.
          Natural History.
7746
      The sun has a right to “set” where it wants to, and so, I may add, has a hen.
          A Morman Romance, IV.
7747
      He is dreadfully married. “He’s the most married man I ever saw in my life.”
          Moses, the Sassy.