John Bartlett (1820–1905). Familiar Quotations, 10th ed. 1919.
Artemus (Charles Farrar Browne) Ward 1834-1867 John Bartlett
| 1 |
| My pollertics, like my religion, being of an exceedin’ accommodatin’ character. |
| The Crisis. |
| 2 |
| The fack can’t be no longer disgised that a Krysis is onto us. |
| The Crisis. |
| 3 |
| I am not a politician, and my other habits are good. |
| Fourth of July Oration. |
| 4 |
| The prevailin’ weakness of most public men is to Slop over. G. Washington never slopt over. |
| Fourth of July Oration. |
| 5 |
| I can’t sing. As a singist I am not a success. I am saddest when I sing. So are those who hear me. They are sadder even than I am. |
| Artemus Ward’s Lecture. |
| 6 |
| N. B. This is rote Sarcastikul. |
| A Visit to Brigham Young. |
| 7 |
| Did you ever have the measels, and if so, how many? |
| The Census. |
| 8 |
| Why is this thus? What is the reason of this thusness? |
| Moses, the Sassy. |
| 9 |
| Let us all be happy and live within our means, even if we have to borrow the money to do it with. |
| Natural History. |
| 10 |
| The sun has a right to “set” where it wants to, and so, I may add, has a hen. |
| A Morman Romance, IV. |
| 11 |
| He is dreadfully married. “He’s the most married man I ever saw in my life.” |
| Moses, the Sassy. |