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Personal Narrative-Therapeutic Patterns

Decent Essays

My heartrate has to be off the charts. I’m sure the anesthesiologist would know, since I’m hooked up to a monitor. She is doing her damnedest to make this experience seem routine. For her, I’m sure it is. She must do at least a dozen sections a week. I, on the other hand, have never had surgery. Never have I had another life inside me either, counting on me to make all the right decisions. I’m hoping this is the right decision. I am sitting here on this hard cold steel table alone, no loved ones are allowed back until the procedure is underway. My naked back is exposed to a student. There will be a slight pinch as the needle pierces through my lumbar flesh kissing the anesthetic solution into my system. I am here because my daughter, my already …show more content…

Even if that hand is clammy, and slightly shaky. Our lives are in mist of change. Here we are before. Two dependent free adults, about to become- parents. We try to make small talk. The doctor has made the incision. There is the sensation of tugging, pulling, and yanking of my body. I read about this, even numb there is some feeling. Although no pain, thankfully. The table is being manipulated to shift to the doctor’s will. In the process I am getting nauseous, I haven’t eaten in over 12 hours and it’s a common reaction to the anesthesia. I ask for a basin, just in case. My OB, well not really my OB, I didn’t even know this man from Adam last week. He is the backup OB to the midwife group I have been seeing for care. We had planned for a home birth, a section wasn’t even on the table two weeks ago. But here I am. Nauseous laying helpless on an operating room table while the OB speaks to the student surgeon about his father’s funeral he attended over the weekend in New Orleans. I am having my first baby, in this moment, and the man pulling her from my body is speaking of death. I try not to hear him. I am watching the clock on the wall. I speak to Matthew. I ask if he can see her

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