Thomas R. Lounsbury, ed. (1838–1915). Yale Book of American Verse. 1912.
Oliver Wendell Holmes 18091894
Oliver Wendell Holmes96 The Music-Grinders
T
One’s money from his purse,
And very hard it is to tell
Which of the three is worse;
But all of them are bad enough
To make a body curse.
And counting up your gains; A fellow jumps from out a bush, And takes your horse’s reins, Another hints some words about A bullet in your brains. In such a lonely spot; It ’s very hard to lose your cash, But harder to be shot; And so you take your wallet out, Though you would rather not. Some odious creature begs You ’ll hear about the cannon-ball That carried off his pegs, And says it is a dreadful thing For men to lose their legs. His children to be fed, Poor little, lovely innocents, All clamorous for bread,— And so you kindly help to put A bachelor to bed. Beneath a cloudless moon; You hear a sound, that seems to wear The semblance of a tune, As if a broken fife should strive To drown a cracked bassoon. Of music seems to come, There ’s something like a human voice, And something like a drum; You sit in speechless agony, Until your ear is numb. A very dismal place; Your “auld acquaintance” all at once Is altered in the face; Their discords sting through Burns and Moore, Like hedgehogs dressed in lace. From some infernal clime, To pluck the eyes of Sentiment, And dock the tail of Rhyme, To crack the voice of Melody, And break the legs of Time. The music all is ground, And silence, like a poultice, comes To heal the blows of sound; It cannot be,—it is,—it is,— A hat is going round! A fracture in your jaw, And pay the owner of the bear That stunned you with his paw, And buy the lobster that has had Your knuckles in his claw; Put on your fiercest frown, And talk about a constable To turn them out of town; Then close your sentence with an oath, And shut the window down! Not big enough for that, Or, if you cannot make a speech, Because you are a flat, Go very quietly and drop A button in the hat!