The World’s Wit and Humor: An Encyclopedia in 15 Volumes. 1906.
Cecco Angiolieri (c. 1260c. 1312)What I Should Like to Do
I
If I were wind, I’d turn my storms thereon;
If I were water, I’d soon let it drown;
If I were God, I’d sink it from the day;
If I were Pope, I’d never feel quite gay
Until there was no peace beneath the sun;
If I were Emperor, what would I have done?
I’d lop men’s heads all round in my own way.
If I were death, I’d look my father up;
If I were life, I’d run away from him,
And treat my mother to like calls and runs.
If I were Cecco—and that’s all my hope—
I’d pick the nicest girls to suit my whim,
And other folk should get the ugly ones.