The World’s Wit and Humor: An Encyclopedia in 15 Volumes. 1906.
Robert Henry Newell (18361901)The American Traveler
T
All in the State of Maine,
A man from Wittequergaugaum came
One evening in the rain.
“Just started on a tour,
And go to Nomjamskillicook
To-morrow morn at four.”
And, with the morrow’s sun,
By way of Sekledobskus went,
With carpet-bag and gun.
Our native tourist come
To that sequestered village called
Genasagarnagum.
And there—quite tired of Maine—
He sought the mountains of Vermont,
Upon a railroad train.
Was his first stopping-place;
And then Skunk’s Misery displayed
Its sweetness and its grace.
To visit Devil’s Den;
And Scrabble Hollow, by the way
Did come within his ken.
He traveled through the State;
And to Virginia, finally,
Was guided by his fate.
He wandered up and down;
To-day at Buzzard’s Roost ensconced,
To-morrow, at Hell Town.
Till friends from Bull Ring came
And made him spend a day with them
In hunting forest game.
To Dog Town next he went;
Though stopping at Free Negro Town,
Where half a day he spent.
His route of travel lay;
Which having gained, he left the State,
And took a southward way.
He trod at fall of night,
And, on a bed of softest down,
He slept at Hell’s Delight.
To Lousy Level bound;
At Bull’s Tail, and Lick Lizard, too,
Good provender he found.
So beautiful did seem
That the beholder thought it like
A picture in a dream.
Were even finer still,
And made the wondering tourist feel
A soft, delicious thrill.
Most charming did appear,
With Snatch It in the distance far,
And Purgatory near.
The tourist stoutly swore
That home is brightest, after all,
And travel is a bore.
A little wife he took;
And now is making nutmegs at
Moosehicmagunticook.