The World’s Wit and Humor: An Encyclopedia in 15 Volumes. 1906.
Ben Jonson (15721637)Rules for the Tavern Academy
A
Except some chance friend whom a member brings in.
Far hence be the sad, the lewd fop, and the sot,
For such have the plagues of good company been.
The generous and honest, compose our free state;
And the more to exalt our delight while we stay,
Let none be debarred from his choice female mate.
Let fancy, not cost, prepare all our dishes;
Let the caterer mind the taste of each guest,
And the cook, in his dressing, comply with their wishes.
To show your nice breeding, or out of vain pride;
Let the drawers be ready with wine and fresh glasses;
Let the waiters have eyes, though their tongues must be tied.
Or call up the master and break his dull noddle;
Let no sober bigot here think it a sin
To push on the chirping and moderate bottle.
Let the company be neither noisy nor mute;
Let none of things serious, much less of divine,
When belly and head’s full, profanely dispute.
Unless he is sent for to vary our bliss;
With mirth, wit, and dancing, and singing conclude,
To regale every sense, with delight in excess.
Dull poems to read let none privilege take;
Let no poetaster command or entreat
Another extempore verses to make.
Nor jars interpose, sacred friendship to grieve;
For generous lovers let a corner be found,
Where they in soft sighs may their passions relieve.
Our own ’mongst offences unpardoned will rank,
Or breaking of windows, or glasses, for spite,
And spoiling the goods for a rakehelly prank.
Be he banished for ever our assembly divine.
Let the freedom we take be perverted by none,
To make any guilty by drinking good wine.