The World’s Wit and Humor: An Encyclopedia in 15 Volumes. 1906.
Charles Stuart Calverley (18311884)Ode to Tobacco
T
Bidst them avaunt, and black
Care, at the horseman’s back
Perching, unseatest;
Sweet when the morn is gray,
Sweet when they’ve cleared away
Lunch; and at close of day
Possibly sweetest:
For thee, though manifold
Stories, I know, are told
Not to thy credit:
How one (or two at most)
Drops make a cat a ghost—
Useless except to roast—
Doctors have said it.
All grow by slow degrees
Brainless as chimpanzees,
Meagre as lizards;
Go mad, and beat their wives;
Plunge (after shocking lives),
Razors and carving-knives
Into their gizzards.
Yet know I five or six
Smokers who freely mix
Still with their neighbours.
Jones (who, I’m glad to say,
Asked leave of Mrs. J.)
Daily absorbs a clay
After his labours.
Cooked by tobacco-juice;
Still why deny its use
Thoughtfully taken?
We’re not as tabbies are.
Smith, take a fresh cigar!
Jones, the tobacco-jar!
Here’s to thee, Bacon!