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Home  »  The Poems of John Dryden  »  A Letter to Sir George Etherege

John Dryden (1631–1700). The Poems of John Dryden. 1913.

Epistles and Complimentary Addresses

A Letter to Sir George Etherege

TO you who live in chill Degree,

As Map informs, of Fifty three,

And do not much for Cold atone

By bringing thither Fifty one,

Methinks all Climes shou’d be alike,

From Tropick even to Pole Artique;

Since you have such a Constitution

As nowhere suffers Diminution.

You can be old in grave Debate,

And young in Love-affairs of State:

And both to Wives and Husbands show

The Vigour of a Plenipo.

Like mighty Missioner you come

Ad Partes Infidelium;

A Work of wondrous Merit sure,

So far to go, so much t’ indure;

And all to Preach to German Dame,

Where Sound of Cupid never came.

Less had you done, had you been sent

As far as Drake or Pinto went,

For Cloves or Nutmegs to the line a,

Or e’en for Oranges to China:

That had indeed been Charity,

Where Love-sick Ladies helpless lye,

Chapt, and for want of Liquor dry.

But you have made your Zeal appear

Within the Circle of the Bear.

What Region of the Earth’s so dull,

That is not of your Labours full?

Triptolemus, so sung the Nine,

Strew’d Plenty from his Cart Divine.

But spite of all these Fable-Makers,

He never sow’d on Almain Acres:

No, that was left by Fate’s Decree

To be perform’d and sung by thee.

Thou break’st thro’ Forms with as much ease

As the French King thro’ Articles.

In grand Affairs thy Days are spent,

In waging weighty Complement

With such as monarchs represent.

They who such vast Fatigues attend,

Want some soft Minutes to unbend,

To show the World that now and then

Great Ministers are mortal Men.

Then Rhenish Rummers walk the Round,

In Bumpers ev’ry King is crown’d,

Besides three Holy miter’d Hectors,

And the whole College of Electors.

No Health of Potentate is sunk

That pays to make his Envoy drunk.

These Dutch Delights I mention’d last,

Suit not I know your English taste:

For Wine to leave a Whore or Play

Was ne’er your Excellency’s way.

Nor need this Title give Offence,

For here you were your Excellence;

For Gaming, Writing, Speaking, Keeping,

His Excellence for all but Sleeping.

Now if you tope in form, and treat,

’Tis the sour Sauce to the sweet Meat,

The fine you pay for being great.

Nay, here’s a harder Imposition,

Which is indeed the Court’s Petition,

That setting worldly Pomp aside,

Which Poet has at Font deny’d,

You wou’d be pleased in humble way

To write a Trifle call’d a Play.

This truly is a Degradation,

But wou’d oblige the Crown and Nation

Next to your wise Negotiation.

If you pretend, as well you may,

Your high Degree, your friends will say,

The Duke St. Agnon made a play.

If Gallick Wit convince you scarce,

His Grace of Bucks has made a Farce;

And you, whose Comick Wit is Terse all,

Can hardly fall below Rehearsal.

Then finish what you have began,

But scribble faster if you can:

For yet no George, to our discerning,

Has writ without a ten Years Warning.