Contents -BIBLIOGRAPHIC RECORD

Fuess and Stearns, comps. The Little Book of Society Verse. 1922.

By. Austin Dobson

Dora versus Rose

FROM the tragic-est novels at Mudie’s—

At least, on a practical plan—

To the tales of mere Hodges and Judys,

One love is enough for a man.

But no case that I ever yet met is

Like mine: I am equally fond

Of Rose, who a charming brunette is,

And Dora, a blonde.

Each rivals the other in powers—

Each waltzes, each warbles, each paints—

Miss Rose, chiefly tumble-down towers;

Miss Do., perpendicular saints.

In short, to distinguish is folly;

’Twixt the pair I am come to the pass

Of Macheath, between Lucy and Polly—

Or Buridan’s ass.

If it happens that Rosa I’ve singled

For a soft celebration in rhyme,

Then the ringlets of Dora get mingled

Somehow with the tune and the time;

Or I painfully pen me a sonnet

To an eyebrow intended for Do.’s,

And behold I am writing upon it

The legend “To Rose.”

Or I try to draw Dora (my blotter

Is all overscrawled with her head),

If I fancy at last that I’ve got her,

It turns to her rival instead;

Or if I find myself placidly adding

To the rapturous tresses of Rose

Miss Dora’s bud-mouth, and her madding,

Ineffable nose.

Was there ever so sad a dilemma?

For Rose I would perish (pro tem.);

For Dora I’d willingly stem a—

(Whatever might offer to stem);

But to make the invidious election,—

To declare that on either one’s side

I’ve a scruple,—a grain, more affection,

I cannot decide.

And, as either so hopelessly nice is,

My sole and my final resource

Is to wait some indefinite crisis,—

Some feat of molecular force,

To solve me this riddle conducive

By no means to peace or repose,

Since the issue can scarce be inclusive

Of Dora and Rose.

But perhaps, if a third (say a Norah),

Not quite so delightful as Rose,—

Not wholly so charming as Dora,—

Should appear, is it wrong to suppose,—

As the claims of the others are equal,—

And flight—in the main—is the best,—

That I might…. But no matter—the sequel

Is easily guessed.