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Home  »  The English Poets  »  The Policeman’s Lot (from The Pirates of Penzance)

Thomas Humphry Ward, ed. The English Poets. 1880–1918.rnVol. V. Browning to Rupert Brooke

William Schwenck Gilbert (1836–1911)

The Policeman’s Lot (from The Pirates of Penzance)

WHEN a felon’s not engaged in his employment,

Or maturing his felonious little plans,

His capacity for innocent enjoyment

Is just as great as any honest man’s.

Our feelings we with difficulty smother

When constabulary duty’s to be done:

Ah, take one consideration with another,

A policeman’s lot is not a happy one!

When the enterprising burglar’s not a-burgling,

When the cut-throat isn’t occupied in crime,

He loves to hear the little brook a-gurgling,

And listen to the merry village chime.

When the coster’s finished jumping on his mother,

He loves to lie a-basking in the sun:

Ah, take one consideration with another,

The policeman’s lot is not a happy one!