Edgar Lee Masters (1868–1950). Spoon River Anthology. 1916.

79. Wendell P. Bloyd

THEY first charged me with disorderly conduct,

There being no statute on blasphemy.

Later they locked me up as insane

Where I was beaten to death by a Catholic guard.

My offense was this:

I said God lied to Adam, and destined him

To lead the life of a fool,

Ignorant that there is evil in the world as well as good.

And when Adam outwitted God by eating the apple

And saw through the lie,

God drove him out of Eden to keep him from taking

The fruit of immortal life.

For Christ’s sake, you sensible people,

Here’s what God Himself says about it in the book of Genesis:

“And the Lord God said, behold the man

Is become as one of us” (a little envy, you see),

“To know good and evil” (The all-is-good lie exposed):

“And now lest he put forth his hand and take

Also of the tree of life and eat, and live forever:

Therefore the Lord God sent Him forth from the garden of Eden.”

(The reason I believe God crucified His Own Son

To get out of the wretched tangle is, because it sounds just like Him.)