T. R. Smith, comp. Poetica Erotica: Rare and Curious Amatory Verse. 1921–22.
You Remember the Nuts
Anonymous(An Irish Broadside. 1870) IN Belfast lived a merchant, a wealthy merchant man, | |
| He had as fine apprentice boy as e’er the sun shone on, | |
| He was proper, tall, and handsome, and everything was right, | |
| He could lie with a pretty girl and kiss her twelve times a night. | |
| The mistress she being standing by, and heard him saying so, | 5 |
| Said, Jack, I hold a wager that you do not perform it so, | |
| The master he being from home that night and all things right, | |
| He slipped into the mistress’s chamber and kissed her twelve times that night. | |
| One of them was a drowsy one, there was no virtue in, | |
| Which made the mistress for to say you did not the wager win. | 10 |
| If I did not win the wager as you suppose you like, | |
| I will leave it to my master when he comes home this night. | |
| When the master he came home that night and at his supper sat | |
| Said Jack unto his master, I wish you’d know a bet, | |
| As your mistress and I was walking down yonder green wood side, | 15 |
| And I on your own mare’s back a cluster of nuts I spied, | |
| She said there was a dozen, I said there was but eleven, | |
| I threw them in her apron, and there was five and seven, | |
| Five and seven is a dozen I heard the people say, | |
| So Jack you won the wager if the mistress does you pay. | 20 |
| The mistress she being standing by and heard him saying so, | |
| She gave him down the wager and was glad to get off so, | |
| When the master is from home she’s sure to stuff his guts, | |
| She tips him on the shoulder, saying, you recollect the nuts. | |