T. R. Smith, comp. Poetica Erotica: Rare and Curious Amatory Verse. 1921–22.
To One in Alienation
By Arthur Symons (18651945)(From London Nights, 1895) LAST night I saw you decked to meetI | |
The coming of those most reluctant feet: | |
The little bonnet that you wear | |
When you would fain, for his sake, be more fair; | |
The primrose ribbons that so grace | 5 |
The perfect pallor of your face; | |
The dark gown folded back about the throat, | |
The folds of lacework that denote | |
All that beneath them, just beneath them, lies: | |
God, for his eyes. | 10 |
So the man came and took you; and we lay | |
So near and yet so far away, | |
You in his arms, awake for joy, and I | |
Awake for very misery, | |
Cursing a sleepless brain that would but scrawl | 15 |
Your image on the aching wall, | |
That would but pang me with the sense | |
Of that most sweet accursed violence | |
Of lovers’ hands that weary to caress | |
(Those hands!) your unforbidden loveliness. | 20 |
And with the dawn that vision came again | |
To an unrested and recurrent brain: | |
To think your body, warm and white, | |
Lay in his arms all night; | |
That it was given him to surprise, | 25 |
With those unhallowed eyes, | |
The secrets of your beauty, hid from me, | |
That I may never (may I never?) see: | |
I who adore you, he who finds in you | |
(Poor child!) a half-forgotten point of view. | 30 |
II As I lay on the stranger’s bed, | |
And clasped the stranger-woman I had hired, | |
Desiring only memory dead | |
Of all that I had once desired; | |
It was then that I wholly knew | 35 |
How dearly I had loved you, my lost friend; | |
While I am I, and you are you, | |
How I must love you to the end. | |
For I lay in her arms awake, | |
Awake and cursing the indifferent night, | 40 |
That ebbed so slowly, for your sake, | |
My heart’s desire, my soul’s delight; | |
For I lay in her arms awake, | |
Awake in such a solitude of shame, | |
That when I kissed her, for your sake, | 45 |
My lips were sobbing on your name. | |