T. R. Smith, comp. Poetica Erotica: Rare and Curious Amatory Verse. 1921–22.
The Unfortunate Miller
Bagford Ballads(Anonymous. 1685; from Pt. III) ALL you that desire to hear of a jest, | |
Come listen awhile, and it shall be exprest; | |
It is of a Miller that lived very near, | |
The like of this ditty you never did hear, | |
A handsome young Damsel she came to his mill, | 5 |
To have her corn ground with a ready good will, | |
As soon as he saw her fair beauty so bright, | |
He caused this young Damsel to tarry all night. | |
Said he, my dear jewel, it will be near morn, | |
Before my man Lawrence can grind my dear’s corn, | 10 |
And therefore if thou wilt be ruled by me, | |
At home in my parlour thy lodging shall be, | |
For I am enflamed with thy amorous charms, | |
And therefore this night thou shalt sleep in my arms, | |
I swear it, and therefore it needs must be so, | 15 |
It is but in vain for to answer me no. | |
At this the young Damsel so blushing did stand, | |
But straightways the master took her by the hand, | |
And leading her home to young Gillian his wife, | |
Said he, my sweet honey, the joy of my life, | 20 |
Be kind to this maid, for her father I know, | |
And let her lie here in the parlour below, | |
Stout Lawrence my servant, and I, we shall stay | |
All night in the mill till the dawning of day. | |
To what he desired she straightways agreed, | 25 |
And then to the mill he did hasten with speed, | |
He ready was there to leap out of his skin, | |
To think of the bed which he meant to lie in; | |
Now when he was gone, the maid told his intent | |
To Gillian, and they a new project invent, | 30 |
By which they well fitted this crafty young blade; | |
The miller by Lawrence a cuckold was made. | |
The maid and his wife they changed bed for that night, | |
So that when the miller came for his delight, | |
Straightway to the parlour bed he did repair, | 35 |
Instead of the Damsel, wife Gillian was there, | |
Which he did imagine had been the young lass, | |
When after some hours in pleasure they past, | |
He rose, and returned to the mill like one wild, | |
For fear he hath got the young Damsel with child. | 40 |
Then to his man Lawrence the miller did say, | |
I have a young damsel both bonny and gay, | |
Her eyes are like diamonds, her cheeks sweet and fair, | |
They may with the Rose and the Lily compare, | |
Her lips they are like the rich coral for red, | 45 |
This lass is at home in my parlour in bed, | |
And if you go home you may freely enjoy | |
With her the sweet pleasure, for she is not coy. | |
His master’s kind proffer he did not refuse, | |
But was brisk and airy, and pleased with the news, | 50 |
But said, to yourself much beholding I am, | |
And for a requital I’ll give you my ram; | |
This done, lusty Lawrence, away home he goes, | |
And stript of his coat, breeches, likewise shoes and hose, | |
And went into bed with young Gillian his dame; | 55 |
Yet Lawrence for that was not worthy of blame. | |
He little imagined his dame was in bed, | |
And therefore his heart was the freer from dread, | |
The minutes in pastime and pleasure they spent, | |
Unknown to them both, she enjoyed true content, | 60 |
Now after a while he his dame had embraced, | |
He rose and returned to the mill in all haste, | |
Telling his master of all the delight, | |
Which he had enjoyed with that damsel this night. | |
Next morning the maid to the mill did repair, | 65 |
The miller and Lawrence his servant was there, | |
His master then whispered this word in her ear, | |
“How like you to lie with a miller, my dear?” | |
At this the young damsel then laughing out right; | |
And said, I changed beds with young Gillian last night: | 70 |
If you enjoyed any it was your sweet wife, | |
For my part, I ne’er lay with a man in my life. | |
At this he began for to rave, stamp and stare, | |
Both scratching his elbows and pulling his hair, | |
And like one distracted about he did run, | 75 |
And often times crying, Ha! what have I done, | |
Was ever poor miller so finely betrayed, | |
By Lawrence, my man, I am a cuckold made. | |
The Damsel she laughed and was pleased in her mind, | |
And said he was very well served in his kind. | 80 |