T. R. Smith, comp. Poetica Erotica: Rare and Curious Amatory Verse. 1921–22.
A Cuckold with a Witnesse
By Richard Brathwaite (1588?–1673)(From A Strappado for the Devil, 1615) A WILY wench there was (as I have read) | |
| Who us’d to capricorn her husband’s head, | |
| Which he suspecting, lay in private wait, | |
| To catch the knave, and keep his wife more straight. | |
| But all in vain: they day by day did mate it, | 5 |
| Yet could his four eyes never take them at it. | |
| This subtle wench perceiving how they should | |
| At last prevented be, do all they could: | |
| For now Italian-like her husband grew, | |
| Horn-mad I wish, and kept her in a Mew. | 10 |
| Invent’d a trick, which to accomplish better, | |
| Unto her friend she closely sent a letter, | |
| And thus it was; Friend you shall know by me, | |
| My husband keeps me far more narrowly | |
| Then he was wont, so as to tell you true, | 15 |
| You cannot come to me; nor I to you. | |
| Yet spite of his eyes and as many more, | |
| We’ll use those pleasures which we used before: | |
| Only be wise, and second what I wish: | |
| Which to express (my friend) know this it is. | 20 |
| My husband as he hates the horns to wear, | |
| Of all the Badges forth, so fears he’th Bear, | |
| More than all other Beasts which do frequent | |
| The healthy Forests spacious continent. | |
| If thou wilt right me then, and pepper him, | 25 |
| Cover thy servant in a false Bear’s skin. | |
| And come tomorrow, as thou used before, | |
| Tying thy servant to my chamber door. | |
| After this quaint direction he attired | |
| His man in bear-skin as she had desir’d: | 30 |
| Entering the chamber he received is | |
| With many a smile, back-fall, and sweetened kiss: | |
| For they’re secure, of all that was before, | |
| Having a Bear that kept the Buff from door. | |
| The wittol fool no sooner inkling had, | 35 |
| Then up the stairs he ran as he were mad. | |
| But seeing none but th’ Bear to entertain him, | |
| Of Horns he never after did complain him. | |