How to Catch Unicorns

ITS cloven hoofprint on the sand

Will lead you—where?

Into a phantasmagoric land—

Beware!

There all the bright streams run up-hill.

The birds on every tree are still.

But from stocks and stones, clear voices come

That should be dumb.

If you have taken along a net,

A noose, a prod,

You’ll be waiting in the forest yet…

Nid—nod!

In a virgin’s lap the beast slept sound,

They say … but I—

I think (Is anyone around?)

That’s lust a lie!

If you have taken a musketoon

To flinders ’twill flash ’neath the wizard moon.

So I should take browned batter-cake,

Hot-buttered inside, like foam to flake.

And I should take an easy heart

And a whimsical face,

And a tied-up lunch of sandwich and tart,

And spread a cloth in the open chase.

And then I should pretend to snore…

And I’d hear a snort and I’d hear a roar,

The wind of a mane and a tail, and four

Wild hoofs prancing the forest-floor.

And I’d open my eyes on a flashing horn—

And see the Unicorn!

Paladins fierce and virgins sweet…

But he’s never had anything to eat!

Knights have tramped in their iron-mong’ry…

But nobody thought—that’s all!—he’s hungry!

ADDENDUM

Really hungry! Good Lord deliver us,

The Unicorn is not carnivorous!