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Robert Browning (1812–1889). A Blot in the ’Scutcheon.
The Harvard Classics. 1909–14.

Act I Scene V

Ah! Good morning, brother.

I was just going, but am glad to greet you.

Things are not far advanced yet, in the country?

Dorine…

Just wait a bit, please, brother-in-law.

Let me allay my first anxiety

By asking news about the family.

Has everything gone well these last two days?

What’s happening? And how is everybody?

Madam had fever, and a splitting headache

Day before yesterday, all day and evening.

And how about Tartuffe?

Tartuffe? He’s well;

He’s mighty well; stout, fat, fair, rosy-lipped.

Poor man!

At evening she had nausea

And could’t touch a single thing for supper,

Her headache still was so severe.

And how

About Tartuffe?

He supped alone, before her,

And unctuously ate up two partridges,

As well as half a leg o’ mutton, deviled.

Poor man!

All night she couldn’t get a wink

Of sleep, the fever racked her so; and we

Had to sit up with her till daylight.

How

About Tartuffe?

Gently inclined to slumber,

He left the table, went into his room,

Got himself straight into a good warm bed,

And slept quite undisturbed until next morning.

Poor man!

At last she let us all persuade her,

And got up courage to be bled; and then

She was relieved at once.

And how about

Tartuffe?

He plucked up courage properly,

Bravely entrenched his soul against all evils,

And to replace the blood that she had lost,

He drank at breakfast four huge draughts of wine.

Poor man!

So now they both are doing well;

And I’ll go straightway and inform my mistress

How pleased you are at her recovery.