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Home  »  Anthology of Irish Verse  »  101. The Peeler and the Goat

Padraic Colum (1881–1972). Anthology of Irish Verse. 1922.

By Anonymous

101. The Peeler and the Goat

A BANSHA Peeler wint won night

On duty and pathrollin’ O,

An’ met a goat upon the road,

And tuck her for a sthroller O.

Wud bay’net fixed he sallied forth,

An’ caught her by the wizzen O,

An’ then he swore a mighty oath,

“I’ll send you off to prison O.”

“Oh, mercy, sir!” the goat replied,

“Pray let me tell my story O!

I am no Rogue, no Ribbonman,

No Croppy, Whig, or Tory O;

I’m guilty not of any crime

Of petty or high thraison O,

I’m sadly wanted at this time,

For this is the milkin’ saison O.”

“It is in vain for to complain

Or give your tongue such bridle O,

You’re absent from your dwellin’ place,

Disorderly and idle O.

Your hoary locks will not prevail,

Nor your sublime oration O,

You’ll be thransported by Peel’s Act,

Upon my information O.”

“No penal law did I transgress

By deeds or combination O.

I have no certain place to rest,

No home or habitation O.

But Bansha is my dwelling-place,

Where I was bred and born O,

Descended from an honest race,

That’s all the trade I’ve learned O.”

“I will chastise your insolince

And violent behaviour O;

Well bound to Cashel you’ll be sint,

Where you will gain no favour O.

The magistrates will all consint

To sign your condemnation O;

From there to Cork you will be sint

For speedy thransportation O.”

“This parish an’ this neighbourhood

Are paiceable and thranquil O;

There’s no disturbance here, thank God!

An’ long may it continue so.

I don’t regard your oath a pin,

Or sign for my committal O,

My jury will be gintlemin

And grant me my acquittal O.”

“The consequince be what it will,

A peeler’s power I’ll let you know,

I’ll handcuff you, at all events,

And march you off to Bridewell O.

An’ sure, you rogue, you can’t deny

Before the judge or jury O,

Intimidation with your horns,

An’ threatening me with fury O.”

“I make no doubt but you are dhrunk,

Wud whiskey, rum, or brandy O,

Or you wouldn’t have such gallant spunk

To be so bould or manly O.

You readily would let me pass

If I had money handy O,

To thrate you to a potheen glass—

Oh! it’s then I’d be the dandy O.”