Edmund Clarence Stedman, ed. (1833–1908). An American Anthology, 1787–1900. 1900.
By Robert WilliamChambers1711 The Recruit
S
“Bedad, yer a bad ’un!
Now turn out yer toes!
Yer belt is unhookit,
Yer cap is on crookit,
Ye may not be dhrunk,
But, be jabers, ye look it!
Wan—two!
Wan—two!
Ye monkey-faced divil, I ’ll jolly ye through!
Wan—two!—
Time! Mark!
Ye march like the aigle in Cintheral Parrk!”
“A saint it ud sadden
To dhrill such a mug!
Eyes front!—ye baboon, ye!—
Chin up!—ye gossoon, ye!
Ye ’ve jaws like a goat—
Halt! ye leather-lipped loon, ye!
Wan—two!
Wan—two!
Ye whiskered orang-outang, I ’ll fix you!
Wan—two!—
Time! Mark!
Ye ’ve eyes like a bat!—can ye see in the dark?”
“Yer figger wants padd’n’—
Sure, man, ye ’ve no shape!
Behind ye yer shoulders
Stick out like two bowlders;
Yer shins is as thin
As a pair of pen-holders!
Wan—two!
Wan—two!
Yer belly belongs on yer back, ye Jew!
Wan—two!—
Time! Mark!
I ’m dhry as a dog—I can’t shpake but I bark!”
“Me heart it ud gladden
To blacken yer eye.
Ye ’re gettin’ too bold, ye
Compel me to scold ye,—
’T is halt! that I say,—
Will ye heed what I told ye?
Wan—two!
Wan—two!
Be Jabers, I ’m dhryer than Brian Boru!
Wan—two!—
Time! Mark!
What ’s wur-ruk for chickens is sport for the lark!”
“I ’ll not stay a gadd’n
Wid dagoes like you!
I ’ll travel no farther,
I ’m dyin’ for—wather;—
Come on, if ye like,—
Can ye loan me a quather?
Ya-as, you,
What,—two?
And ye ’ll pay the potheen? Ye ’re a daisy! Whurroo!
You ’ll do!
Whist! Mark!
The Rigiment’s flatthered to own ye, me spark!”