Stedman and Hutchinson, comps. A Library of American Literature:
An Anthology in Eleven Volumes. 1891.
Vols. IX–XI: Literature of the Republic, Part IV., 1861–1889
Receipt to Make a Magazine
By William Biglow (17731844)A
To explain it a whole page employed:
Two tales prolonged of maids deluded;
Two more begun, and one concluded;
Life of a fool to fortune risen;
The death of a starved bard in prison;
On woman, beauty-spot of nature,
A panegyric and a satire;
Cook’s voyages, in continuation;
On taste a tasteless dissertation;
Description of two fowls aquatic;
A list of ladies, enigmatic;
A story true from French translated,
Which, with a lie, might well be mated;
A mangled slice of English history;
Essays on miracles and mystery;
An unknown character attacked,
In story founded upon fact;
Advice to jilts, coquets, and prudes:
And thus the pompous Prose concludes.
A fable of the mouse and toad;
A modest wish for a kind wife,
And all the other joys of life;
A song, descriptive of the season;
A poem, free from rhyme and reason;
A drunken song, to banish care;
A simple sonnet to despair;
Some stanzas on a bridal bed;
An epitaph on Shock, just dead;
A pointless epigram on censure;
An imitation of old Spenser;
A dull acrostic and a rebus;
A blustering monody to Phœbus;
The country ’gainst the town defended;
And thus the Poetry is ended.
The news and lyings of the day;
Paint bloody Mars & Co. surrounded
By thousands slain, ten thousand wounded:
Steer your sly politics between
The Aristocrat and Jacobin;
Then end the whole, both prose and rhyme, in
The ravages of Death and Hymen.