Deborah Tannen Sex Lies And Conversation Summary

In the first excerpt Deborah Tannen wrote “But What Do You Mean?”, she breaks down and classifies the conversational areas where men and women have the most difficulties communication. Tannen’s excerpt is written from a personal point of view, it is written within her daily workplace and based off actions or events she encounters between men and women. Tannen argues that men tend to be more confrontational when communication and women happen to approach confrontation in a subtle way. Men are direct and to the point, while women try to negotiate. In the excerpt Tannen breaks her argument into 7 sperate

In the video lecture presented by Deborah Tannen, He Said, She Said, Tannen emphasizes that men and women grow up in very different social worlds. When boys grow up, they learn that there is often going to be an inequality of force in any conversation. For girls, however, they feel that equality is very important and that it needs to be enforced through sympathy-based bonding. As adults, these different messages behind socialization can often lead to confusion, miscommunication, and, sometimes, hurt feelings. Tannen explores the difficulties of cross-gender communication and how we can overcome them by understanding where these conversational rituals come from. As a reflection on Tannen’s lecture, this paper will analyze how the different developments of boys and girls lead to the different views men and women have on the world. First of all, childhood and friendship is perceived differently by each gender.

The methods in which men and women communicate are eminently different. This being so, their external state is an indicator of their inner state, but men and women have different external states to express themselves. This is especially evident among children and individuals in relationships, and altered between a couple who tries to adjust their behavior. Deborah Tannen, the author of “Sex, Lies, and Conversation,” argues that boys are girls are taught to have a differ inner state, that males and females usually have the same inner state but express them differently when communicating, and that individuals in romantic relationships can alter the way they present their outer state to represent their inner state in a way their partner can relate to.

The relationship that I see between what Treasure discusses and what Tannen is warning us about has to do with listening and how it affects us in our daily lives. In the article that Deborah Tannen wrote titled “The Argument Culture Moving from Debate to Dialogue,” stated that she believes that opposition is the best way to get anything done. That an argument is the only way to get your point a crossed to someone. Tannen stated that she believes the best way to discuss an idea is to set up a debate. That instead of listening to some else, it is just better to set up a debate instead. Tannen also stated that she believes the best way to show that you are really paying attention to them is to criticize them. That instead of listening to them,

The articles “Sex, Lies and Conversation: Why is it Hard for Men and Women to Talk to each other” by Deborah Tannen and “Speaking Different Languages” by John Gray are about how men and women often misunderstand each other which causes conflicts and or arguments. When a woman says something it usually has a deeper meaning, but men are usually more direct when speaking; this leads to conflicts and relationship problems. According to Tannen and Gray, men and women can adjust their thinking to minimize misunderstanding by translating each other’s dialect, by understanding their different ways of listening, and different body languages.

Television psychologists and pop culture self-help gurus tell us that marriage is hard work; marriage is compromise; marriage is a choice between being right, and being happy. All of these statements are true. What these experts don’t tell us, however, is that marriage is also about putting on blinders, or looking on the bright side, or one of a hundred other trite phrases to explain the art of self-deception. In marriage, there are times when we may find it necessary to look the other way from our spouse’s faults or indiscretions, in the interest of self-preservation. For if we examine these problems too closely, our darkest, most secret fears may come true. Therefore, it can seem easier to focus on the positive. In her poem “Surprise,” Jane Kenyon uses denial, selective perception, and fear of betrayal to illustrate the self-deception that can occur in marriage.

This article by Deborah Tannen, written in 1990, addresses the differences between the communication styles of men and women and some of the ensuing problems that arise from these divergent behaviors. The article asserts "that although men tend to talk more than women in public situations, they often talk less at home. And this pattern is wreaking havoc with marriage" (p. 474). Research indicates that a majority of women state a lack of communication as the reason for seeking divorce as compared to only a few of the men. With the divorce rate at 50 percent the author says there is a "virtual epidemic of failed conversation" (p. 474) in America.

In the essay Sex, Lies, and Conversation Deborah Tannen focuses on the differences and lack of communication between men and women though observations. She came to the conclusion that men were not lacking in their listening, but they were however listening in a different way than the women did. On the other hand, men aren’t the only people that have terrible communication skills. In many ways, these differences between the two genders can cause major conflict when not understood by the opposite side. A few examples of lack of communication may be when women don’t decide where they would like to eat, men who walk away from an argument rather than talking it out, and their decision making processes.

In Tannen’s book, she starts off by addressing the differences between men and women conversate, then shifts her attention to offer a solution towards the end of the book. In chapters one through nine, Tannen tells the reader of the differences in conversation men and women have, and how they came to be. One example is the goals men and women have in life. Men’s goal in life is to strive for independence in conversation, and avoid failure, which according to Tannen mean that they come up with their own ideas, not following others. While the goal for women is to try and preserve intimacy. In order to receive affection, women try to find similarities in each other. Tannen thinks this occurs because boys are taught to compete when playing games in the play yard, and women are taught to stick together and socialize. Throughout the book Tannen shows characteristics that men and women and how they are different. At the end of the book Tannen tells the reader that although there are many differences between both genders, and it may be hard to understand each other in conversation, it is possible. According to Tannen by understand these differences one will be able to recognize them in conversation, and understand what the other person is trying to say, or realize why they said that. The chapters appear this way because before Tannen can come up with solution to get men and women to better understand the misunderstandings that occur, she has to inform

On the one hand, Tannen’s logic maybe problematic, as she assumes that communication is the heart of the greatest marital problems. Even though this was in written in 1990 many aspect of marital problems have risen, into many different problems. For instance, marriage does not always end due to the lack of communication, anything

Deborah Tannen is the author of Sex, Lies and Conversation: Why is it So Hard for Men and Women to Talk to Each Other. Deborah Tannen is a woman who researches the relationships between men and women. She has not only conducted research but also has information to support her view. In her essay Deborah Tannen argues complications happen in marriages/relationships due to individuals not being able to communicate with each other properly.

Common miscommunication among genders is misunderstandings, a woman may assume the man is not listening and a man may think his words are being twisted and taken out of context. Modern men and women by contrast are under the illusion that they speak the same language, though the words they use may be the same their meanings for each sex may be different (Cameron, 2007). Specific examples of some of these miscommunications, the underlying message, a female expects for a man to read between the lines of her words and understand what she is trying to say without her telling him. During the scene where Isabel clearly wants Alex to admit he loves her and wants to make the marriage work, she throws out these signals and expects for Alex to know what she wants when he is clearly confused and thinks she doesn’t want to be with him by her actions.

However, Tannen also denotes that the relation between miscommunication in marriages and high divorce rates are due to failed conversations and lack of communication between each gender. Furthermore, I did not agree with you when you stated that some of the striking differences between men and women that Tannen and her sources noted.

My initial reaction to this article Faking It: Sex Lies and Women’s Magazines, was anxious about composing a developed thought and opinion on one specific theme. Lisa Feather stone has crafted this shocking but informative article about how sex is portrayed in Women's magazines. Being that there are such a variety of social issues that should be conveyed to light. I was having a little inconvenience adhering to only one. Notwithstanding, with some direction and consolation I chose to at long last settle with the issue of sex in magazines. Inside this stretched out article, I will endeavor and sparkle some more information to Feather stone about the historical backdrop of sex in notice and cases of various promotions, demonstrate sex offers any and everything, the part the media plays in our childhood's lives and makes hyperactive sexual advancement in youngsters somewhere around thirteen and seventeen years of age and how magazines and media corrupt ladies and partner them as insignificant items. I will likewise give different meanings of sex in the media, visual representation of unwarranted presentation in the media, insights and meetings by

She studied ethnic groups, which speak the same language using different styles, and found that the effect of gender on communication is miniscule compared to the effect of culture and socialization. In her research, Tannen asserts that the basic uses of conversation by women are to establish and support intimacy; while for men it is to acquire status. These styles and motives for communicating represent different cultural upbringings, and one is not necessarily better than the other. However, she also notes in her findings that men tend to interrupt more and ask questions less. In fact, the female tendency to ask more questions sometimes results in receiving lower grades from male professors who view frequent questioning as proof that a student knows less than her male counter parts.