Parent-Child Relationship Essay

The relationship between parents and their children is constantly adapting, beginning at birth. At birth is the point when the strongest attachment bonds form and parents strive to meet their baby’s every need.

This essay is looking at the similarities of two researchers into attachment. The aim is to present their work so as to compare and contrast the different approaches and techniques used by both Harry Harlow and Mary Ainsworth. Even though they both had their different techniques in carrying out their experiments, the conclusion of their findings was very similar and this essay will be showing these findings by contrast. Both psychologists wanted to find out the underlying mechanics of attachment of mothers and their young.

Children become aware that their feelings and desires are essential and must be accounted for. Growing up in a supportive environment enables children to form open and trusting relationships with their parents. However, sometimes parents fail to meet emotional or physical needs of their children. Through the failure of meeting the child’s need, eventually, leads to a more dysfunctional relationship.

The root of the mother-infant relationship as well as a child's development can be linked to John Bowlby's theory of attachment. Bowlby, a British psychoanalyst, developed the theory after running a study in which he attempted to understand the intense distress experienced by infants who had

Wang, F., Cox, M. J., Mills-Koonce, R., & Snyder, P. (2015). Parental Behaviors and Beliefs, Child Temperament, and Attachment Disorganization. Family Relations, 64(2), 191-204.

Mistrust. An infant trusts that their caregiver is going to be there to meet their needs. If a caregiver does not appear the infant will experience conflict of trusting others. Erikson believed that this shaped a person’s interactions for the rest of their life. Benjamin Spock stated in his book Dr. Spock’s Baby and Child Care that infants learn during early infancy a sense of trust by having their needs met promptly and lovingly. He does go on to say that after six months a baby can wait a bit for a parent’s attention, especially, if the parent is feeling overwhelmed or anxiety due to the fact that the she is feeling enslavement by the baby always needing to be held (2012. pg. 112-113). Mary Ainsworth has four categories of behavior based on maternal care: sensitivity-insensitivity, cooperation-interference, and acceptance-rejection. Ainsworth believed that a mother to form positive attachment should be able to interpret her baby’s signals and respond promptly, understand that the baby is individual, to intervene in the babies activities without inferring, and the mother’s feelings toward her baby (Benson, Haith. 2009. pg. 32). It seems though that Raj took it to one extreme of not answering cries after in the night after six months, while I was at the opposite end of not putting my six month old down. Cheryl is the balance between us because she has the balance that Ainsworth’s theory requires.

When maternal love is not consistent, infants then begin to develop insecure attachment, for example, when an infant cries or shows distress and the care giver does not respond or only responds in a loud, abrupt way the infant can become more distressed as they pick up on emotions around them. If the care giver does not comfort the infant for example, holding, cradling or showing affection the child becomes frustrated because his or her needs

Some of the most relevant traits that a parent need are: Attachment capacity. This trait will help the infant to develop self-esteem and the capacity to build trustful personal relationships in the future. A person who had attachment to his parents during infancy will possess higher self-esteem and the capacity to build more and longer lasting relationships throughout their life, on the other hand children who have been neglected seem to be emotionally withdrawn and have a hard time developing social bonds, even though they might have a few social bonds these bonds often prove to be superficial and are easily discarded. Another trait is the capacity of empathic communication; this is the ability of the parent to synchronize to the internal functioning of their child and being able to recognize the emotional and physical gestures that highlight the emotional wellbeing of the infant, supporting the growth and development of the infant and requiring an adequate level of maturity, it is necessary to recognize and reward the accomplishments of the infant this will stimulate growth and overall development.

A mother’s ability to attune, regulate, and respond to an infant has considerable developmental and interpersonal consequences (Bowlby 1988; Shapiro 2012). Repeated proximity-seeking behaviors with primary caregivers lay the foundation for individual strategies that assist in the regulation of emotions and the ability to form intimate bonds (Marmarosh & Tasca, 2013). One’s experiences early on in life create the foundation from which we form our perceptions of self and others, and are associated with the development of neural pathways in the brain that control responses to stress (Marmarosh & Tasca, 2013), and influence future relationships and attachments in adulthood (Snyder, Shapiro, & Treleaven, 2012).

Research suggests that infant’s brain continues to develop long after birth and infant’s first relationships have long-lasting effects on their later learning and development. John Bowlby’s attachment theory focuses on the idea that the bond between a child and mother, is an important part of children’s healthy emotional development in their childhood and later in life. A key point of Bowlby’s theory shows that infants go through stages when forming relationships with caregivers. Bowlby suggests that infants that are six weeks to six- eight months old, start to respond differently to caregivers they know, then to strangers. They then start to show signs of attachment to a familiar caregiver from this age (Berk, 2013, p. 429).

The concept of infant-mother attachment is as important to the child as the birth itself. The effect this relationship has on a child shall affect that child for its entire life. A secure attachment to the mother or a primary caregiver is imperative for a child’s development. Ainsworth’s study shows that a mother is responsive to her infant’s behavioral cues which will develop into a strong infant-mother attachment. This will result in a child who can easily, without stress, be separated from his mother and without any anxiety. Of course the study shows a child with a weak infant-mother relationship will lead to mistrust, anxiety, and will never really be that close with the mother. Without the

Raising a child isn't an easy thing to do. Raising a child while the parents are still in their teens is even harder. Dealing with the day to day chores that involves a baby and trying to work and get an education is very stressful on any teen.

Particularly prevalent in early childhood, maternal bonds are important for developing a sense of self, appropriately responding to others in society whilst setting a basis for all future relationships (Bretherton 1992). This tertiary basis is reflected in Bowlby’s Inner Workings Model which is coined to direct a child’s social and emotional behaviour in relation to themselves and others (Bretherton & Mulholland, 1999). Thus the maternal care provided develops the baby’s ego concurrently with maturity in that independence will ultimately result. Nurturing in the first 12 months of the baby life are said to be more focused on developing the baby’s sense of self where your cousin as a parent, would orient their time and attention to the baby. Aspects of social normalities are also imparted with increased awareness of their surroundings thus setting the basis for maturity (Freud, 1961). Consequently parental behaviour in the early of stages of life are critical to enable the development of a baby’s response to various stimuli, forming the basis of personality. However the lack of experience and maturity on the baby’s part means their emotions are almost completely reliant on paternal upbringing by which their parents perspectives and opinions are subconsciously transmitted from a young age which affects the baby’s though processes and

Women will always provide a different level of care for children than men will. Breastfeeding and birthing aside, women hold a unique bond with their children that impacts the ways in which they care and provide for them. It appears that this unique bond stems from the pregnancy where the mother and child are one. The time spent between mother and child during the process of pregnancy makes this bond not only different than that of a male figure but creates inherent approaches to parenting. The bond and inherent approach to parenting that stems from the pregnancy are not necessarily biological and would differ on a continuum as not all people are going to share the same experience either during the pregnancy of after.

Because of the love and affection they receive, they learn to rely on the caregiver (mother) and to trust her. As they grow they learn by watching and imitating her, as well as by getting instructions and guidance from her. When they manage to do something, their learning is reinforced by her praise and approval. This is a normal scenario. This is the ideal environment for a child to develop his potential to the maximum. Moreover, studies have shown that infants who are abandoned and separated from their mothers become unhappy and depressed, sometimes to the point of panic. After long periods of separation and isolation, they show symptoms of apathy and withdrawal or restlessness, hyperactivity, inability to concentrate, and craving for affection.”