Life is complex and there is still an abundance of knowledge we have yet to gather about it. We know where it originated and what has evolved from it. From the knowledge we gather about the world around us, we can develop a sense of self and who we are as a person. As soon as we know who we are, we then begin to acknowledge that there are people around us that we relate closely to by blood or by choice; family. Our family can be the people we eat with around the dinner table or the people who remain by our side through the hardships and the good times. The feelings we encompass for these people around us may be everlasting love, but it can also be animosity. We can appreciate these people and all they do for us, or despise their every being. As a result of the hatred we may embody toward someone, we may act out. Maybe by using verbal abuse, and maybe with physical abuse. Some of the best ways to help children cope with the mental and physical abuse from their childhood would be to encourage them to discuss the events and assure them it was not their fault, recognize the self-destructive ways they act out as a result and provide support, and inspire them to get more involved in their school and community, all of which will contribute to them moving past their trauma and easing back into reality and a better future.
Encouraging children to discuss abusive events and assure them it was not their fault can help them cope. It was not until months after I met my best friend that
They do not deserve to have their lives threatened or to see their mother abused the way she was. However, there were people in my family who felt as though they didn’t need any help or that they were fine and it was all blown out of proportion. While this distortion is damaging to the children who were traumatized, it also shows how trauma affects the person holding the distortion. It shows that their perspective of trauma was handled in a different way than other people and it creates a challenge. It challenged me to understand how different people perceive the trauma of others and how it affects everyone’s lives
Dr Wilson book Hurt people hurt people; premise is as simple as the book’s title. She shows how the process of hurting others is a cycle in that; “All of us have been hurt by people who all were hurt by other hurt people. In turn we-as hurt people-all have hurt other people to one degree or another” (Wilson, 2001). She also states that individuals learn child-like solutions to such issues as “trust, identity, and attachment” where become rooted in an individual because of binding shame (Wilson. 2001) .Sadly many children have to learn to act in a defensive or dysfunctional way to survive the abuse at the hand of their family. Parents that tend to abuse where abused themselves and never got the needed emotional healing. Even though
Children who have been abused are left with more than just physical scars. They have many psychological, emotional, and behavioral problems as well. Their social lives are affected dramatically, and they suffer lifelong effects. (Lambert) Children tend to
As children our world often revolves around our parents. This is because parents are our source of safety and security, of love and understanding, of nurturance and support. A child experiencing abuse develops strategies that become coping mechanisms. These coping mechanisms enable day-to-day functioning and help the child detach from the emotional and physical pain of events, especially when the abuse continues over a long
After a child has been abused they will have a low amount of confidence and self-esteem so a good strategy to build this back up would be to set up a game where the children have a piece of paper which they draw a tree and leaves on, and on each leaf they write something good about themselves on, this will help child to really think about what they really like about themselves and helps them focus on that rather than the bad stuff which has happened to them. The negatives of this game is that some children may feel uncomfortable or embarrassed about writing good points down as a group so it may be best to work alone. This strategy can also be developed for an older age group, if you have an under confident
Child abuse is more than bruises and broken bones. While physical abuse might be the most visible, other types of abuse, such as emotional abuse and neglect, also leave deep, lasting scars. (Help guide.org). The earlier abused children get help, the greater chance they have to heal and break the cycle—rather than perpetuating it. There is a myth that only bad people abuse their children. (Help guide.org) But the fact is while it 's easy to say that only "bad people" abuse their children, it 's not always so black and white. Not all abusers are intentionally harming their children. Many have been victims of abuse themselves, and don’t know any other way to parent. Others may be struggling with mental health issues or a substance abuse
recording observations over time, through written records, builds a picture of the young person life and allows us to recognise patterns and changes in their behaviour. Children and young people who have been physically abused may be fearful, submissive and aggressive after the abuse has stopped. The abuse has taught them that hitting is a way to control others and solve problems. The beliefs, attitudes, and behaviours that appear after physical abuse can cause problems with friends, struggling to maintain and keep friendships. They may be distrustful of authority figures at home or school becoming fearful of their carers and those there to help them. They may feel guilty, ashamed, angry, helpless or hostile resulting in anxiety disorders or depression.
Violence in any form can have a lasting effect on a person. Children who witness violence are permanently scarred because of what they are seeing. Children who witness family or domestic violence are affected in ways similar to children who are physically abused. Children are often unable to establish nurturing bonds with either parent and are at a greater risk for abuse and neglect if he or she lives in a violent home. Statistics show that an estimated 3.3 million children are exposed to violence against their mothers or female caretakers by family members in their home each year (Ackerman & Pickering, 1989). When a spouse, woman or male is abused, and there are
When a child experiences emotional abuse, the wounds run skin deep. Kids who suffer repeated trauma feel lonely, scared, worthless and unloved, which is exactly the opposite of how children should feel. Abused children often become broken, hollow and bitter, with mental consequences that last long after the physical wounds have healed. The emotional stress it puts on children is tremendous.
In The Boy Who was Raised as a Dog author Bruce Perry demonstrates how understanding the brain’s inner workings and development can help bring traumatized children from heartbreak to hope, while always balancing that hope with caution. In his book Perry illustrates how empathy is vital to healthy child development. There has been a decrease in the amount of healthy adults involved in a child’s life than in decades before. Families are smaller, teacher to pupil ratio has increased, and so the number of human-to-human interactions where children are being taught and nurtured has suffered. If you are an adult who is involved with children in your daily life, parent, teacher, law enforcement, etc., and you know that a child has been exposed to something that is potentially traumatic the first thing you should be aware of is that not all traumatic events automatically lead to disastrous mental health outcomes. In fact the majority do well, but for these successful outcomes they do need your attention, support, and awareness. What makes children get better following a trauma is connection with other human beings. Connections to people who are kind, patient, present, but not necessarily psychologically insightful, is at the core of a successful therapeutic relationship.
Millions of adults each year in the USA are affected by intimate partner violence (IPV). “The National Violence Against Women (NVAW) survey conducted from November, 1995 to May, 1996 indicates that each year an estimated 8.5 million intimate partner victimizations occur among the US population ages 18 and older” (Fang & Corso, 2008, p. 303). “As recognition of IPV as a serious societal problem increases, more attention has been directed to risk and protective factors for IPV perpetration, especially the link between child maltreatment, victimization and future perpetration of IPV” (Fang & Corso, 2008, p. 303). More than 80 percent of all victims are maltreated by one or both parents. Several studies have found that children who have experienced child maltreatment (neglect, physical abuse, or sexual abuse) are more likely as adults to conduct IPV. Of these children, 54 percent suffered neglect, while almost a quarter, 23 percent, suffered physical abuse and nearly 12 percent of the victims were sexually abused (Fang & Corso, 2008).
There are significant signs of psychological trauma due to any kind of abuse. Children experience feelings of low self esteem and depression. Many exhibit behavioral problems including aggression towards other children. Other emotional problems include hostility, fear, humiliation and the inability to express feelings. The social impacts of physical abuse include inability to form relationships, poor social skills, poor cognitive language skills, distrust of others, over-compliance with authority figures, and tendency to solve interpersonal problems with aggression. (2008, p. 1). Verbal and physical abuse has a cumulative impact on children’s socialization. Abused children are caught in damaged relationships and are not socialized in positive, supportive way (Craig & Dunn, Ex.: 2010, p. 196). They learn defiance, manipulation and other problem behaviors that are used to escape any maltreatment. In turn they will learn to exploit, degrade and terrorize.
We never know what is going through a child’s mind when being a witness of abuse, especially when they are young. When a child grows up at such horrid environment, they're view in life changes automatically making them believe that this is the way of life. As these abused children get older, they do not know how to control what they feel in the inside and end up expressing it by taking their anger out on others, simply because that’s what they have “learned” in life”. “Abused children cannot express emotions safely. As a result, the emotions get stuffed down, coming out in unexpected ways. Adult survivors of child abuse can struggle with unexplained anxiety, depression, or anger” (Child Abuse and Neglect 1).however, though, the child does not evolve into a negative environment by being abused, the path that could also lead to a young child’s mind into negativity would be witnessing any kind of abuse within the house.
“Every year in the United States there are over 3 million incidents of domestic violence. That means that every nine seconds a women is beaten by her domestic partner” (Findeley). There are many women that stay silent when being abuse by their partners. The consequences of staying quiet when obtaining abuse can be dangerous and can also lead to death. Many women do not recognize the importance of the fact that there is in speaking out if they are being abuse by their partner. No woman should take domestic abuse by their partners. Every woman deserves a healthy relationship; A healthy relationship involves trust, respect, and consideration for the other person. Domestic abuse has gotten worse during the past years and is still rising up. One can see that domestic abuse can occur everywhere. Domestic abuse is considered a crime and woman should not keep silent when being abuse.
Our ability of having a healthy and productive relationships are learned but when a child is abused or neglected this will cause problems with them developing positive skills to navigate the social world. Child abuse creates problematic relationships in their lives that could pour over into their future (www.findcounseling.com).